


Still Okay

by thetiniestkotorfan



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, Whelp, Wow, but originally, but really, i wonder who dies, if you know me, it could be cas or jo or anyone really, its kere, its tagged as f!oc cuz thats who its originally with, reedit, ya'll know kere by nowq, yet another thing from tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-30
Updated: 2016-01-30
Packaged: 2018-05-17 03:45:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5852737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thetiniestkotorfan/pseuds/thetiniestkotorfan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It became a running theme. Words to give when he was nervous, or sad, or something had gone wrong...<br/>"Still okay"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Still Okay

It became a running theme, words to give when he was nervous, or sad, or something had gone wrong. 

"Still okay,"

He had nightmares a lot, or I did, or both of us. He'd shoot up in the bed, by himself or after I was already sitting there. No matter if I was still lying next to him, sitting up or across the room, somehow my hand always found his. He'd just look to me, I'd give him a small smile and just whisper it. 

"Still okay." 

It wasn't only for nightmares. Sometimes hunts go wrong, and even when it's simple, easily finished, they're dangerous. Often one of us goes when the other doesn't, or he'll come back early and I won't be there. Sometimes he'll just walk in after a difficult hunt, and call out my name. I'll walk by him and and just smile, hardly paying attention. It's casual coming from my mouth. Like saying what you want for dinner. 

"Still okay."

Sometimes it was just a joke. Something I called out when he wouldn't get moving, or was being jumpy. Something I said when he was talking too much. I teased him with it, used it to agitate him or make him laugh. Sometimes just to hear his usual remark when I caught him doing what he shouldn't. That 'shut up'  when he had nothing else to say. It made me laugh, it made him laugh. 

"Still okay."

Every once in a while it was my own comfort. When my past came back to haunt me, vivid nightmares, when I was injured. It was no ones fault, it just happens. As much as I was his constant, he was mine. Those moments when I broke down, when I felt weak. I held onto him as though he'd disappear before my eyes and I'd mutter those words. Over and over and over until I believed them. For someone so easily written off as a womanizing asshole, he was always patient and caring with me. If he was ever sick of my blubbering in those moments, it never showed. He spoke them with me. 

"Still okay." 

It didn't matter where or when they were spoken, just so long as they were. In time it became our words. Words that were part of who we were, a constant reminder we were not alone, that it would be better. That no matter what happened, we would be okay.

"Still okay."

The last time I heard them, I was holding him in my lap. His head rest on my arm as I looked down at him. All I remember was blood, it stained my clothes, stained his, running from his chest, his mouth. I couldn't help him. I could do nothing as he slowly slipped from my grasp. He looked up at me and...we both knew this was it. This was final. There was no coming back this time. Somehow he found the strength to touch my cheek lightly for a moment, before it fell. I caught it in my free hand as it did, tears blurring my sight, but I refused to let them fall. I would be strong for him. I whispered those words, those damn words. For good times and bad. I whispered them, my voice choked and I swear he laughed a bit. In a moment, he was gone. His eyes were dull and his breathing came to a stuttering hault. I broke down, falling over on top of him, sobbing into his bloody chest, so still, so still...

"Still okay." 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> for the lovely cary-onmywaywardson on tumblr


End file.
